I cannot describe in relative terms what I am and what I am not.
I am beyond words and definitions.
In awakening I gained nothing, lost nothing.
Anita is an appearance of the dream…detail oriented, creative, introverted, sometimes creative, rarely social, usually weird.
I’ve never been born, I will never die, and I’ve never lived – all imaginings are appearances in the dream world and I am lucid as this dream.
I am peace beyond any understanding and appearances of the relative brain/mind.
Appearances, bodies, visual images seem to come and go in this dream of reality.
I am original changelessness in and as all the appearances and changes.
I am original stillness even as I appear as change, thoughts, and motion.
I am original seeing and direct knowing (seeing from the perspective of the Anita character this awakening is undoubtedly Grace).
Seen as Absolute, awakening is not possible by efforts of a separate self.
Nothing is or was liberated or saved. I was never unsaved, asleep, bound, or chained.
I am this and I am not this.
I am unmoving and unshakable inner peace and silence as expressions and movements appear to the character Anita.
Anita is the “instrument” the “vessel” the “vehicle” of perceiving the dream of duality. She forgot what she was until she awakening to the dream.
It’s known directly, beyond mind, that what is appearing is a spontaneous, momentary flash of energy (outside time and space so there is no duration at all) in a dream of separation to experience the concepts of “self” and “other.”
Without the little “self” there can be no “other” in the dream of reality/duality.
I am, and I am regardless of whether or not I am self reflective.
I am edgeless, formless, immeasurable no-thing-ness appearing as every-thing-ness as Self, as little self Anita, as infinite identity of all so-called forms and formlessness.
I am this that I am.