Experiencing

Can you point towards aware consciousness or aware presence? It’s what all experience is made of. Really. Look at your feet. If your vision is healthy, do you see a spectrum of colors?

You are the seeing, you are the spaceless space that holds the appearance, and the appearance of feet. In other words, you are the seeing, the seer, and the seen.

All sensory perceptions and sensations are themselves nothing but feeling. This is the nature of all experiencing! It’s undivided. Awareness or consciousness is not two, not subject/object, as is the case with a belief in relativity. Nearly all humans believe in a relative world with a personal me or I at the center looking outward upon an external reality.

Believing in a model of life with a “witness” or “person” at the center isn’t accurate or real. This misperceving leaves the “seeker” desperately seeking for “something” that isn’t present. Uncovering our true essence or nature is about abandoning conceptual beliefs and models; and the conceptual belief dividing pure non-dual experiencing into a witness and something witnessed is merely another pitfall to overcome.

We read or hear that awareness is the unseen seer behind appearances. We’re led to believe that awareness is that which is doing the seeing, that which is hearing the sounds, and that which feels sensations. Thus, through every such statement, there’s an implied distinction between what’s appearing to awareness, and awareness itself. This sends us searching for this mysterious awareness.

What is looking through “your” eyes is impersonal awareness/consciousness, and it has never been personal to you.

anita

Sensating

Exploring the non-dual nature of being and working with self-inquiry we notice a “me” that seems to always be present and aware. So what is this “me” that seems to be present? Most of the world claims the “me” as a separate and personal self where none actually exists. This is why self-inquiry is so very necessary….so we can see the intimacy of the aware presence we claim as personal and belonging to a “me.”  So what is perceiving?

Perceiving is the undivided dance of what is and the simultaneous, instantaneous, perception of it…what we see and the seeing (perceiving/sensating) are one and the same awareness, consciousness, but awareness or consciousness not a thing…awareness is what is.

Awareness is not the sensating or perceiving of phenomena (subject/object) but is the perceiving/sensating itself  —  there are no existing objects or subjects…no existing concepts.

Since we only have relative language to communicate in the dreamscape, we might nudge a bit closer to what is appearing if we look in this direction by using these words:  perceiving is perceiving perceiving…there is no perceiver or perceived.  We can also say awareness is aware of itself as awareness.

Awareness, consciousness, is the perceiving, is the sensating. There is no separate seer, no separate seeing, nor a separate what is (as a subject/object) to be seen. Nor is there a beyond or behind/above/below awareness or consciousness experiencing as the witness, the witnessing, or the witnesser of experiencing…there is only experiencing, sensating, perceiving…as aware presence or consciousness.

As characters we seem to have the conviction/belief that there exists an objective universe “out there” in which “we” exist. So…we (brain/minds) divide what is aware presence or consciousness – seeing, hearing, smelling,  tasting, feeling…and thinking, into a subject we claim as ourself, and the seeming objects that make up our belief in an external reality or world.

And we believe these cherished and revered conceptual ideas and beliefs are true and real…but they only exist conceptually. Awareness or consciousness is already seamless, edgeless, undivided, and has never been separated into anything…into relative subjects and objects, only brain/minds create and project separation and external reality where none could possibly exist.

And since all languages are based on a conceptual world, a relative world…a world of this compared to that, of up and down, of here and there, of past and future…this makes all languages dead. All words are dead…they are concepts. Concepts can never be real…only fig newtons of the imagination!

Emerald Isle 2009 – Just rocking.

Nevertheless, in the dreamscape, humans like to use language to create concepts where none exist….we like to name, claim, and label what seems to be unfolding….we refer to this as life or reality, and we even teach our babies and children how to name, claim, and label everything that seems to be appearing.  

This tendency to categorize and judge happens innocently enough though, since the vast majority of humans never question what they are taught about reality, especially humans in well-educated cultures.

 

Most humans judge and sort life experiences into relative concepts with categories/buckets such as:
“worthy” or “unworthy”
“perfect” or “imperfect”
“loving” or “unloving”
“good” or “bad”
“better” or “worse.”

These judgments, claims, beliefs, opinions, and convictions are the root cause of all suffering. We accept some of life, and push away what we do not like, value, believe, endorse, or condone. We create categories, labels, and names describing what we believe defines who we believe we are.  What if there is no “who” and only a “what?”

And yet, there is nothing really going on. It is seen directly that there are no separate objects divided by space or separate events divided by time. The angst and fear of believing we have control of our characters vanishes and it’s felt as a physical and psychological release of giant proportions.

It becomes obvious that life unfolds spontaneously and uncaused…that the idea of you being a doer is silly. It’s what Paul Hedderman refers to as “traveling lighter.” And it become as clear as day that the dreamscape, the illusory duality/relativity is what allows the experiencing of a perceived self and other. Without duality, there can be no appearances of self and other, no characters to play with. You might awaken to realize your external reality or life is a dream and see that you are a dream character, but you will never escape the dreamscape.

anita

Perceiving What Is

I’m often asked how it feels to perceive what is…how it feels to perceive no boundaries, no separation, no specific characteristics.  Well, it feels just like living…like life unfolding…but without a separate and solid “me” freaking out, spacing out, or bitching all the time…or even a me to soak up bliss and serenity.

Understand that freaking out, spacing out, and bitching still continue as appearances of aware presence but there is no separate Anita identity running a constant commentary overlay over aware presence while bitching and freaking out are appearing. If you take this a step further to self inquiry, you will soon see that angry, depression, and freaking out are simply labels applied by the brain/mind as a veil over the perfection of aware presence.

If you believe you are an angry person before awakening to realize what you are, anger and tantrums will still appear but you will know deeply these appearances are simply aware presence aware of itself as angry, petulant, or depressed as the personal identity will be seen as only a belief and not a truth.

What is…is invisible to the human perceiving mechanism (aware presence), yet pervceiving is all we have.

All I can offer is self inquiry techniques, love and hugs, and point towards what is.  This, what is…cannot be described, only noticed as a primal longing, a silent whisper, energy echoes radiating from a vulnerable and surrendered heart.

The only helpful way I’ve found to approach describing what is is to describe what it is not – since what is is like the edgeless, silent stillness between breaths, thoughts, feelings, smells, tastes, touches, sounds, words, and heartbeats.  

We seem to inhabit an imaginary external reality, each of our own making…reflecting our core beliefs, fears, concepts, and principles we hold so near and dear.  Indeed, we are as prisms.

The mechanism at play yearning for this description of what is is the brain/mind — the ultimate label-maker and dispenser of names, titles, and concepts. For most of us, it is nearly impossible to believe or imagine that what is appearing is a seamless subtle energy beyond the realm of relative concepts like time, distance, and space.

Most of us imagine that there is an inside and an outside to what is…to awareness, to bodies, to objects, but what is is not any of these concepts.

And here is the head-scratcher…what is appearing is not a thing yet it appears to encompass and include all things…and yet no things at all are appearing.  The relative world of subjects and objects falls through itself…shatters…and is seen to be illusory projections of the mind upon awakening to what is.

I’m reminded of David Beaver’s classes many years ago in A Course in Miracles when he discussed and demonstrated virtual reality, perceptual reality, and how the brain is so easily fooled! We’re so convinced that there is a you and a me and that both are real and tangible.  Soon, it will be hard to distinguish virtual reality games from what we believe to be reality.

We also want to believe we have a choice, that we make a difference and we have the ability to direct our lives, and steer our own ship.  This constant battle to assert “our” power is continually fueled from the beliefs and concepts embraced and circulated by the brain/mind and reinforced by society.

We are programmed by parents, teachers, religions, and society to believe we are able to improve, endure, and perfect our worlds and our lives…and yet time and space only exist as a running commentary of concepts, thoughts and beliefs in our brain/minds.  And we cannot accept, even for a moment, that we have never had an ounce of control or choice, and that we are figments of our own imagination.

And this inner friction or itch in the heart is so subtle that we seldom acknowledge or address it. It goes unnoticed, but is sensed as restlessness, discontent, depression, anxiety, panic, boredom, despair,  mania, and everyday unease, frustration, weariness, and malaise. Like the outline of a cloud with no beginning or ending, no top or bottom, we are simply the fleeting appearances of a vaporous suggestion of energy-charged-water…hydrogen and oxygen…and not even that.

There are no words that can describe the indescribable…there is only sighing, accepting, and surrendering, and pointing towards what is when our weary hearts prompt us to marvel at what we label as poetry, silence, song, and beauty appearing.

What I see as beauty, you may see as ugliness. What I see as poetry, you may see as poverty or crime.  What I see as perfection, you may see as war, death, or torture.  I no longer see with the lens of relativity, of good and bad, up and down.  I see all that is appearing, what simply is, as the perfect silent stillness beyond relativity.  You saw this too as a toddler…but you have forgotten.

anita

Longing to Awaken

Juniper Level Botanic Garden

I believed I could experience awakening.  Bart Marshall set me straight and let me know awakening is uncaused and spontaneous…appearing to no one and beyond the beliefs of time and space. Perhaps like me, you believe, or you want to believe,  you can experience awakening…but you cannot…but this doesn’t stop seekers from longing to awaken and be present for the experience of awakening. Not going to happen.

Awakening is a very simple (too simple) and child-like seeing with an up-side-down perspective that is always available, and usually overlooked, every moment.  It’s ripe, ready, available, to be blinked with your very eyes, this very moment.  But the “you” that you believe you are is the very roadblock to simply seeing this.

How often do you hear the stark truth about awakening?  I was fortunate to meet Bart Marshall and learn that “nothing of you will remain” (Bart quoting Alfred Pulyan)  so I knew intellectually I had some lingering beliefs to dismantle about the personal self, eternity, and my concept and beliefs about God/Absolute.

Be aware that awakening will demolish and destroy all your beloved concepts of yourself, and all the beliefs you hold so dearly. All beliefs and concepts will die before or at awakening…and awakening will feel like the death of the self.  There will be deep grief and tears.

I found inquiry to be the best and most effective tool for backing away from content and beliefs of the anita character.

Grace knows when the character is seriously committed to jumping in the deep waters of surrender and finally willing to let go and die.  Only in complete surrender and rawness is there enough of a crack to let the Original Face (Zen phrase) shine through.

Upon hearing that the self must die, most expect the personal self to disappear with Awakening.  It does not. The self is merely seen for what it is – an illusory perceptual lens and “global positioning system” for the character reflecting and refracting awareness…aware…that it is aware.  For me, it certainly felt like the death of the personal self.

It is necessary in the dreamscape to have an imaginary two-ness in order to play as dream characters, to appear as self and other, to feel emotions, to experience virtual reality in the dream of separation.

You, dear one, ARE the painful belief in separation and the feeling you are a separate and distinct entity in a world of subjects and objects. You ARE the feeling of lack that cannot be soothed.  There is no inside or outside to what is, no boundaries to what is, to what seems to unfold…so how can you escape it when you are it?

Separation is a self perpetuating loop that cannot un-loop itself.  Yet, somehow (Grace – if there could be a concept of Grace  – all is Grace and/or nothing is Grace…)  the brain may see through the maze of words, beliefs, concepts, and recognize that all separation is simply a projected illusion.

And, with the direct seeing… it becomes apparent that no-thing and no one in the world needs to be fixed, improved, or sanctified. Life is seen as an elaborate game of smoke and mirrors, and then a quiet calm and perfect ease appears as no-thing-ness and floats like a wave upon a deeply profound peaceful sea and the brain/mind surrenders…and floats undisturbed…as ease and peace.

When it is realized and deeply sensed that there are no separate subjects and objects divided by space, nor separate events divided by time, “you” may finally relax as vast perfect stillness, of no-thing-ness and every-thing-ness, just perfect edgeless awareness appearing.

anita

 

Original Thinking

Nonduality at Juniper Level Botanic Garden

The teachings on this website appear to be at odds with the prevailing beliefs of society, humanity, and reality. We seem to blindly take what parents, educators, religious leaders, and scholars tell us to be facts and truths. Most of us are caught in a vicious cycle of brain/mind numbing programming and daydreaming that serves to keep our perceptions personal, confused, compliant, and caged.

The vast majority of humans are unfamiliar with raw and unprocessed thoughts.  Most, believing thoughts are personal, twist these vaporous thought-clouds into stories and beliefs with a natural ease since we are taught by well meaning folks to name, label, and claim thoughts as personal. Nearly all absorb the teachings and beliefs of parents, teachers, and authority figures who themselves have simply passed along these concepts without much direct or critical analysis.

Thankfully, a few have dared to think outside the boundaries of traditional human programming to glimpse the edgeless aware presence upon which thoughts appear. These wild and weird ones are seekers with a budding seed for glimpsing absolute truth and they question what the majority deem as factual, concrete, valid, and true.

Noticing the power of habitual thinking may be shocking at first, and it is, and yet a sense of curiosity arises to investigate and explore what is actually appearing here now. Noticing when we are lost in thought, daydreaming, or zoned-out will help us see how deeply we are living in our tiny little worlds and overlooking the deep inner peace that is always available by simply accepting what is and questioning the questioner.

Once we begin to see that the brain labels what is appearing with only references to the imaginary past, we’ll likely feel energized to explore how we’ve missed the sweetness and peace of allowing what is appearing because we are lost in our head and the belief in a past.

Give it a try…simply notice the tricky little brain/mind as it’s playing its clever tricks and seduction to keep us believing we are separate and contained within the boundary of flesh and skin.

anita

Permanence

Nonduality at Juniper Level Botanic Garden

Is it a belief in an enduring or lasting energy or consciousness? Is permanence a fact or consensus of opinion? Have you ever questioned the concept of permanence or just taken it to be what everyone else says it is?

The concepts of “faith and devotion” rest upon deeply held beliefs in permanence, also known as time. Without time, beliefs have no foundation upon which to persist. What can possibly persist when time itself is seen as a concept?

What about faith? What is the belief mechanism that perpetuates faith?  Doesn’t faith require a belief in time as well…a belief that something can and will arise later, in time, that is not already here now.  There is only what is….this…here…appearing.

Robert Heinlein writes:  Does history record any case in which the majority is right?

For this pilgrim, decades of devotion to Christian scriptures ensuring eternal life were deeply comforting “to the me I thought I was.” Like most, cherishing the peace provided by believing in something eternally and infinitely more powerful than humans gives meaning and purpose to one believing in a world of separate subjects and objects. The world of time and space.

These sacred and holy beliefs defined my identity. I worshiped at the altar of heirloom traditions, sacred written assurances, and the powerful symbols of beliefs. Who am/was I —  if not these teachings and traditions?  Who, or what, am/was I? And who or what knows this?

anita

Caged

Nonduality at Juniper Level Botanic Garden

We’re conditioned to perceive life/reality as unfolding inside or outside a person/body. This caged way of perceiving life is held by the vast majority of humans and is the root of all emotional and psychological suffering. It’s been said by many folks, many times…with our thoughts we create our world. This is how the brain/mind works…conceptualizing, rationalizing, and objectifying what is perceived…and this is how we are programmed and trapped in the mind’s naming, claiming, and labeling cage.

After the perceptual shift in 2011, I noticed the perception of reality was replaced with a simple timeless, indivisible, immeasurable, unmovable, impersonal lens. I saw clearly…our beliefs and thoughts create and inform what we perceive as reality or life.

Before awakening, I believed I was enclosed within a body as a separate and individual anita.  After the shift, I no longer perceived life as being contained and enclosed within the edges of a human fleshiness named anita. I appeared to extend as far as the eye could see…edgeless, undivided, unbounded, still, and vast.  There are no boundaries to the anita character anywhere…just fleeting appearances of edgeless, seamless, undivided, and timeless aware presence, a metaphorical canvas of no-thing-ness and not no-thing-ness…spontaneously appearing/not-appearing as uncaused and fleeting impersonal awareness.

Seekers ask what is “seen” when my eyes are closed…since I have to use words to communicate, it like this…appearances dissolve into a brilliant-yet-inky silent and aware endless void…the same aware, silent, and inky void present when consciousness ceases and the body appears to die. The felt experience of the anita character is of unbounded and overwhelming sorrowful gratitude that anything at all appears upon the silent stillness.

I know it sounds crazy and as a character would not have believed or conceived of this shift of perception fifteen years ago. These unspeakable shifts of perception and identity appear to arise spontaneously and to no one in particular…ignore words claiming otherwise!  There is no cause and effect in play here, life seems to appear here, now, spontaneously, edgeless, and uncaused.

I understand why the misunderstood and those perceiving differently (including artists, musicians, saints, and sages) are often ridiculed, reclusive, or sedated and locked in mental institutions. Society is generally fearful of what it does not understand or what is outside the leaky edges of normalcy…and the going consensus, whatever the majority agrees upon, is labeled normal.

Perhaps we might consider, even briefly, the nature of what is… a vibrant aliveness we call reality or life…perhaps even consider the scientific evidence suggesting humans are misperceiving themselves and the world. This is a sadly funny exercise for the few who question reality. Quantum physics attempts to describe and explain the unexplainable and unspeakable shift in perception in terms of probabilities and collapsing waves and particles. Words and descriptions move us away from the essence and into our thinking brain/minds so give attention to the intimate feelings of awareness — just don’t claim awareness as your awareness!

What you are…is…what you are…improvement is not possible or needed…as the “you” is simply impersonal awareness, always aware presence, appearing as a vast and edgeless field of fleeting potentialities.  Yes, most misperceive what is and believe what is to be distinct, measurable, and operating within time and space. I have seen the folly and felt the suffering of these tenacious and socially endorsed beliefs.

Our perceptions and sensory experiences are shaped by conditioning, the influences of society, science, religion, philosophy, and various tribal and ethnicity beliefs. There are many perceptual lenses and ways of seeing. For a simple example, just imagine seeing life with the fresh and clear eyes of a pre-verbal toddler…seeing life/reality as a little child sees it…undivided, spontaneous, outside of time, unmeasurable, and fleeting.

What’s looking through your eyes?

anita

 

Eliminating Thoughts and Feelings?

Recently in the news I’ve heard or read of several well-meaning teachers, gurus, therapists, and medical professionals suggesting we change, suppress, or eliminate negative thoughts and feelings — as if this were even possible.  This approach rests on the core beliefs of being a doer and being able to create change.

There are no doers doing the doing!  It’s not possible to remove, change, or substitute emotions or actions either…what is appearing…is…what is appearing.

Is it possible for what’s appearing to change as it’s seeming to appear? No — it is already appearing! Most humans want the imaginary now, future, or past to be different than what is unfolding…a guaranteed recipe for suffering!

I’ve come across many blogs and websites suggesting practices, methods, and treatments to “manage” or eliminate unwanted and uncomfortable thoughts and emotions and these practices and methods simply perpetuate our misperceiving:

  • that there is a separate person to whom these thoughts and feelings seem to occur, and there is not.
  • that separate thoughts and feelings occur, and they do not.
  • that there are some thoughts and feelings that are better or worse than others, and there are not….especially feelings of anger (as if anger is inappropriate or wrong)

Notice that any method, practice, or teaching, suggested by anyone, including those deeply revered – Buddha, Christ, Allah, or Krishna, etc… perpetuate the illusion of a separate person, a separate goal, an endpoint, a finish line, a desired place, or state, or feeling.  As Bart says, there is no use polishing the terd. 🙂

The biggest and shiniest goal, carrot, or achievement in the spiritual realm seems to be enlightenment, salvation, and realization — also fueling and perpetuating a consensus belief in a separate self identity that might eventually reach these imaginary prizes.

Nonduality, spirituality, and oneness preachers and gurus are incredibly popular and are a convenient way of avoiding and hiding from the flimsy and illusory nature of the separate self and reality.  These teachers and gurus offer a safe and secure comfort zone for those obsessed with reaching these goals. Interestingly,  I have seen many of these gurus are themselves believing in a lasting unicity or eternity of existence beyond the bodymind.

Anytime you hear or read of gurus and teachers referring to an essence, entity, awareness, or consciousness as anything lasting, solid, or fixed… such as a true self or an eternal self, or as an absolute awareness or consciousness…look out!

There is nothing lasting, remaining, transcending…and concepts and words are simply the objectifying brain/mind/ego attempting to perpetuate itself in an imaginary future, heaven, dimension, when not even nothing exists – just edgeless, infinite, impersonal awareness aware of itself.

In short, all perceptions are illusory appearances of impersonal awareness perceiving itself in an imaginary dream as itself.  No separate self or dream character can awaken or be enlightened outside of the illusion. At best, an illusory character might realize itself as an illusory character in a dreamy illusion of impersonal awareness and laugh at the possibility of escape or enduring beyond the apparent physical death of the dream character.

The duality, the relative world, is the only platform, or place, if you will, where aware presence or impersonal awareness can know itself, as itself and as other, by spontaneously appearing as it’s own dreamworld.  How brilliant and remarkable that appearances appear at all!

anita

 

Identity Trap

I was stuck in an identity trap for decades believing I was a separate person with a personal awareness and ability to make decisions. Of course, believing that I was a separate being also ensured I was often suffering, longing, and discontent with what is.

I define the Identity Trap as a core set of self-referential beliefs and concepts which perpetuate the false sense of a separate and personal self identity.

Reinforced by family, society, educators and dogma, these beliefs and concepts veil the natural flow of impersonal consciousness always here, now, as this breath.  We overlook and ignore this perfect presence, this perfect peace by veiling it with a personal identity.  Are you stuck in an identity trap?  I’m here to help you uncover what you already are and are not with self inquiry..

anita

 

What is God?

Many pilgrims explore the validity and meaning of God or Absolute when investigating spiritual life, existence, and the afterlife. It seems there is nothing scarier than to ponder an endless oblivion at the end of living, or while living, for that matter. 

As humans, feeling there is something more after death, and believing in an enduring personal soul or spirit in an afterlife seems to draw and sustain many to a higher power or God.  

applied a Christian framework onto God for more than 40 years. God seemed like a devoted loving parent, promising an afterlife in Heaven, if all the dogma and doctrines were practiced and obeyed.

A belief in existing as a personal soul that would unite with God upon physical death and spend eternity with God in an afterlife was at the core of these personal beliefs.

Upon reflection and inquiry, this concept of God implied God was changeable, flexible, and able to exist in a relative relationship  –  God and other – creator and created – bound together in a relationship (relativity) enduring through time and space.

The belief implied that God was divisible, not already everywhere and everything, and that some things were created in the image of God and somethings were not. This belief implied that God was not timeless and ever-present since God was not with those folks or things labeled as evil or assumed to be living in hell, whatever hell is, or those not believing in God.

Is there a clear line of who is accepted by God and who is not worthy of God…does it depend on a particular set of beliefs and an allegiance or commitment to these beliefs? All beliefs and dogma are concepts.  I even taught this dogma to children and adults in Sunday School classes for decades in the Baptist and Methodist Church.

My powerful urge for teaching about the love and divinity of God and for dwelling with God heaven fell away here during a long dark night of the soul, and later in 2011, in a shocking shift of perception and identity.

Now reality is perceived as impersonal awareness which appears spontaneously and uncaused as appearances arising upon relativity (subject and object). You and me. Up and down. Here and there. Now and later. Here and there. Good and bad. Birth and death.  Past and future. In relativity, all things may appear true and factual until they are not, meaning relativity is changeable and dynamic, illusory appearances only.

For instance, humans once believed the world was flat, but no longer.  Humans believed man could not fly, until in seven short seconds, Orville and Wilbur instantly changed that beliefs. And mankind would never walk on the moon, until Neil Armstrong did. And we’ll never make it to Mars…or Pluto. 

Science is now moving towards the paradoxical world of quantum physics, yet another concept…moving awareness beyond relativity and into empty particles, dark matter, and entanglement. This is the fascinating world of exploring the nature of invisible particles and matter just by changing what or how a particle is being observed.

But no matter how deeply we investigate what is appearing, what is will remain as a concept, an idea, an opinion or a collective belief, because it is appearing in an illusory relative world — the world where the brain/mind creates all concepts and beliefs…including the concept of Absolute and the study of potentiality, waves, and particles in quantum physics. 

I spent decades meditating (and still do) to reconcile the scientific facts with spiritual beliefs. I was deeply spiritual all my life and who was I if I was no longer spiritual in the way I was accustomed?  And who was this “I” in relation to what science calls dark energy, which comprises 95% of the cosmos?

And for a while, the mystical teaching of Christianity and the scientific information of quantum physics agreed with my relative and logical brain.  St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross wrote at length about the illusory nature of the separate or personal self. Their teachings lined up with the ancient teachings of Lao Tsu, the Buddha, Jesus the Christ, and Wu Hsin, all describing an unchanging, indivisible, omnipresent, and timeless God. An Absolute God resonated for years in the heart, down into the bones and marrow, until it didn’t…the shift in 2011 blew away all concepts…including the concept of God.

Yes, it makes logical and scientific sense to see and imagine God as Absolute and not relative.  It feels good to an imaginary personal self as it offers a belief, a hope, a concept that perpetuates and lasts beyond the relative realm…survives the concept of death and enjoys an afterlife.

This is a hard realization to comprehend by a relative brain/mind.

In short, all perceptions are illusory appearances of impersonal awareness perceiving itself. No separate self can awaken or be enlightened. At best, an illusory character can realize itself as an illusory character in a dreamy illusion of impersonal awareness and laugh out loud at the possibility of escaping or enduring beyond the moment.

The duality, the relative world, is the only platform, or place, if you will, where impersonal awareness knows itself as conceptual, as itself and as other, by spontaneously appearing as itself as separate, here now, in the timeless now.  

Such mystery!  And if you wanna call impersonal aware presence “God,” , then feel free…but most folks will picture a dualistic God created of their beliefs when you speak the word “God” as most humans crave an enduring existence beyond this moment and beyond death of the body.

anita

Noticing Peace

It’s not that you let go or lose control…it’s realizing there is no one, no you, there never has been, to hold on or let go, and no one to have or lose control, to fear or to dread, to fall or to sink.

Your belief that “you” are a “you” does not make “you” real, it just holds “you” hostage, in vicious circling around an imaginary you

This believing in a “you” is holding you separate from the incredible peace, wonder, and love you already are and letting go…all beliefs, concepts, and stories until there is nothing left to call a you…and there never was a you, and then noticing peace…

anita

Wreckage

Pixabay

Rain falling, wind gusting, small chards of what I thought I was
instantly dissolving into bright shadowy formless forms
of loving empty
awe and wonder
as fierceness dies and lives and
beliefs burn upon
the silent hot waters of inquiry.

perceiving arises, uncaused, to no one and everyone to no thing and every thing,
as brilliantly beautiful
swirling and refracting watery songs
spontaneously appear singing heavy dirges of
who I once believed I was…and wasn’t
now seeing and knowing the seen and the unseen,
the knowing and the unknown
as momentary appearances of
empty fullness existing and not existing.

anita