(c) Anita Avent

For more than five decades I longed for inner peace and relief from the scary thoughts inside my head. I suffered frequent panic attacks, bouts of crippling agoraphobia, aloneness, and depression. I was taught to believe inner peace and calm were only available outside of me using the various therapies, tools and pharma I was prescribed.

One day during yoga and meditation I noticed I was not my thoughts. Since since that day in 1992, watching life unfold is now like the simplicity and ease of skating on the edge of an imaginary nickel. I skate along noticing what is occurring as life as a witness, an observer.

Instead of seeing life as being good or bad, right or wrong, I see life like a nickel with a “heads” side and a “tails” side. I observe life and remain undisturbed, unmoved by the view of either side of the nickel, the pair of opposites — good/bad, up/down, here/there, now/then, you/me, yes/no, etc.

Seeing both heads and tails while remaining at the edge and witnessing is liberating. Observing life as appearances is peaceful when I stop naming, labeling, and claiming what I see from a relative viewpoint of being a me. Life, Reality, Consciousness is simply what is appearing…limitless energy. Personal suffering is optional when reality or life is seen with this perspective.

Language itself is relative so words will never describe what is beyond a relative understanding. Music, art, dance, nature, and poetry come closer to describing the elusive and fleeting nature of what is seeming to appear than mere relative words will ever capture.

Appearances of the body and breath are imaginary doors to perceiving this seamless, edgeless, oneness…which is here, now, as this perfect moment, this infinite, impersonal, no-thing-ness appearing as every-thing-ness we call Life, Reality, Presence, God.


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