This website is a collection of writings, poems, images, and musings pouring forth reflecting this momentary Anita in what feels like a lasting and solid world. Much of the writing on this website reflects the essence of the “letting go” and allowing that we practice here in the botanic gardens. When we surrender all beliefs, opinions, and knowings, what has always been shining brightly as this edgeless aware presence is easily realized (by no one in particular).
What is known directly, but not as from a mental or intellectual realm, and felt inwardly, but not as from inside a separate being, is the nearly universal belief of existing as a separate self is the root of all personal suffering.
This identity trap, this widely-held belief – that I am appearing as a separate person – creates a seemingly tangible world of subjects and objects with a separate and personal me at the center looking out upon a world of seemingly tangible things, people, and places.
As small children, open curiosity and joy is our natural state but we lose this innocence and fluidity day by day as we are taught to name, label, and claim things, appearances, as belonging to a personal and separate me which does not exist. Appearing as a separate me is an elaborate belief system programmed into our brains.
So of course, as adults, we live in our thoughts, our incessant thinking, worrying about the future and regretting the past. And we suffer deeply because we believe we are a separate me, and that life happens to a “me” and that this me is able to make choices and decisions.
Seldom do we glimpse the utter perfection and sheer mystery we are unless we’re watching a breath-taking sunset or holding our new child, puppy, or grandchild for the first time. This innocence, simplicity, joy, and curiosity still animates the body — but most seldom notice — preferring the pull of the mesmerizing stories of a separate “me” created by the chorus of demanding egos veiled within the brain.
What is is what is. There are no words to describe what is beyond words, beyond the relative world we believe we inhabit.
Welcoming what is appearing moment to moment regardless of our opinions or beliefs about the moment may allow an infinite glimpse of what cannot be described, only pointed towards as what is. This aliveness, this presence, seems to be appearing, yet not appear, here, now, as this infinite, edgeless, undivided, timeless moment. Words can never describe what is beyond a relative perspective. And this unfathomable paradoxical wisdom will cramp the brain.
There are no writings here about “becoming” awakened, enlightened, or any “thing” at all…time is a mental construction. If you believe you can become enlightened then this website will irritate/trouble/confuse the separate you that you take yourself to be.
And as for the use of italics and the blending of illogical words while writing – what is appearing is not relative and cannot be verbalized nor described using language, which is, by invention and intention, relative.