What we really are is already present, here, now, as this aware presence. Of course, this is not what we imagine ourselves to be. We’ve never been separate and the you that you believe you are is actually impersonal awareness appearing as a body you claim as yours. It’s the same for all (100%) appearances of life.
I write to describe and share the beauty of this awakening, how it felt and feels now, what it looks like, and what nonduality really is in simple words. Perhaps you will consider this website a simple roadmap with signposts for discovering and seeing what you really are, not what you have been told by others or what you believe you are.
I know you probably won’t believe this but you actually are pure presence, impersonal awareness. Your brain/mind and the ego keeps you believing you are a separate being since that’s the job of the egoic brain/mind.
These essays and writings reflect the paradoxical teachings I absorbed leading toward seeing how easily I misperceived identity and reality. You may recall the historical nondual teachings of Jesus the Christ, Rumi, the Buddha, Lao Tzu, Meister Eckhart, Wu Hsin and many others as they describe awakening and realizing what simply is.
Language is relative, using subject and object, so describing nonduality, without subject and object, is nearly impossible but that doesn’t seem to stop these fingers from typing:)
Our original identity, our natural state, appears so effortlessly and intimately as beingness we simply overlook this aware presence…believing instead the appearances of an external world of subjects and objects projected by the brain/mind with us at the center as the perceiver, the me, the I.
The personal identity of the Anita character was shattered in 2011. Decades of working on the inner beliefs and concepts through counseling and bodywork loosened the grip of the psychological webbing holding the personal self in place. Later, I came upon self inquiry and dove deeply into the abyss of the unconscious tapes and the traps of the mental processes that were preventing seeing beyond the relative brain/mind.
The teaching and writings on this website point towards the perceptions, thoughts, and beliefs the relative and dualistic brain/mind uses to keep you believing you are a separate self where a separate self has ever existed and the self inquiry tools to help you explore for yourself, by yourself, what you actually already are…infinite, edgeless, aware presence.
There is no endpoint for uncovering what you already are. Upon awakening and seeing clearly there is no personal self, you will likely fall on the floor crying and laughing that you were so easily fooled into believing you were separate when it is so clearly evident you are not nor have you ever been separate.
In retrospect, knowing the back of the book answers does seems to help focus the inquiry into one razor sharp question — What is looking through these eyes, and how do I know what’s looking through these eyes without using thoughts, beliefs, and concepts told to me by others or read in a book? What is my direct experience of this here now?
For those committed to seeing truth, an inner light may eventually dawn after a deep and thorough self-inquiry process (lasting for many years or decades) has shredded the beliefs and concepts holding the personal identity in tact.
Something akin to Absolute Grace or Mystery shifts the lenses within the character which the character is powerless to modify. This mystery, this absolute beingness lifts the final veil while the observer falls through its illusory subjectivity.
So it appears the character can only do what the character does yet there is no personal willpower or ability to make changes. Please understand this this paradoxical truth– changing seems to appear but not to a personal being.
When you notice you are glued to nonduality videos on YouTube, reading nonduality websites, and pouring over nonduality books you likely have a seed germinating and yearning to uncover what you really are as impersonal consciousness, as this aware perfection, as peace, equanimity.