I have fallen through myself…swallowed by endless emptiness. I have no body, though it wondrously appears, no location, no time, and yet this heart beats a marvelous emptiness, a wonderment of shocking awe. All cherished scientific and philosophical truths, concepts and beliefs are as watery flames dancing as a funeral pyre.
There is no longer any-thing to grasp, no solidness upon which to stand, just an imagining of birth and death breathing what is appearing and dissolving. Permanence dissolves and is gone beyond gone.
I inhale empty universes flooding the heart as icy white light. I exhale edgeless, infinite, starless, stillness. Before and after dies seeing edgeless, infinite, timeless presence.
Sorrow and joy arise echoing the faint notes of meaningless fears. All the edges of form evaporate and there is only whispers of a silent, inky, stillness holding what is appearing here now as creation.
My head is gone and only you see the mirage of it. How can I describe what is impossible to describe with mere words and phrases? Yet I am writing upon the emptiness and writing seems to appear. It’s so puzzling to a human brain to ponder an intelligence so timelessly infinite and absolute it cannot be comprehended.
And it feels like this:
Before me is the fullness of what is appearing now…a voidless void glimpsing appearances as itself. I have no boundaries, no skin, no need nor urge to divide and separate this appearance of raw limitless perfect aware presence.
Tears of joyful sorrow flow…and oceans appear. Laughter paints the sky as imaginary stars.
There is an ease of noticing what is appearing and a feeling of intimacy as the thought steam describes the perfection of what is appearing. This intimacy and closeness feels as though you are tasting, smelling, touching, and seeing this dreamscape within your infinite and edgeless beingness. Such paradox, mystery, awe, and wonder that anything at all seems to be appearing.
Appearances look so damn real and tangible. Such feelings of awe for a brain so clever to create the appearance of a tangible reality where none could possibly exist.
It’s all me, all of it — I inhale the cosmos and I cannot get in front or behind it, above or below it….it is everything appearing as nothing and nothing appearing as everything as each glorious inhale and appreciating this edgeless, sourceless, timeless mirage as the exhale.
And this body, this glorious vaporous appearance of a dreamy body that feels so real and tangible but is simply an imagining within a brilliant illusory brain. How divine and luscious to feel this body, this perfect moment.
And yet I appear as the gut-wrenching murderous news on TV, as children gliding on the swings, a baby fox scampering across the garden, a homeless woman, a red truck, the laptop, the fire, the sky, the ocean, a tiny ant.
Now….this moment is fresh and new, is all for you as you:
Open your eyes to your eyes and see the original and innocent seeing that is always here now.
When you were fresh and new as a toddler and a small child this original and innocent seeing was what was looking through your eyes. As you grew as a toddler, your parents, siblings, and teachers taught you a subject/object framework for seeing which covered the innocent seeing you were born with.
See again as a toddler what is appearing as this perfect, timeless, essence now. Notice the urge to measure and write distinctions across appearances to slice and dice what is infinite and edgeless perfection into parts and pieces time will never touch.
I’d die a zillions deaths to share this with you now and tell you of your perfection. I’d roll up the universe and swallow it to give you a glimpse of your illusory and infinite beauty, perfection, and timelessness.
Go outside on a clear night and look upwards to the appearances of the stars…can you divide the sky? Do you notice the gratitude arising for the simple seeing of the brilliant starry vastness before you?
Now turn your head and look at your feet. Do you notice a powerful urge to name and claim what is appearing as your feet? If so, are you sure you want to divide and label appearances into subjects and objects with you at the center as the viewer or perceiver?
Peace radiates naturally and effortlessly as you unlearn and unprogram the brain of the attachments to beliefs and concepts keeping you a prisoner in a tangible-appearing world of illusions.